Do Not Assume

Featured Video Play Icon

Do Not Assume

If you are interested in a Life Coaching session, please email me for more information: confusedgirlinthecityla@gmail.com

To not assume is probably one of the most important lessons to learn in life. It was a lesson I was reminded of this week. I am starting a new relationship and I assumed something about him that wasnโ€™t true. I ended up causing a lot of anxiety for myself and him. Lesson learned and will be happily un-assuming for a long time ๐Ÿ˜‰

When we assume something about someone else, we create a false story in our head. Itโ€™s actually pretty crazy how we do this so easily and with such conviction. We create this story and then believe it to be true. We let our thoughts and ego run wild and they begin to dictate our emotions and behavior. It is important to realize this when it is happening and bring ourselves back to present moment awareness. If we are in the present moment and not off in story making land, we will have the tools we need to handle the situation.

We all come from different backgrounds and have our own unique perspective of reality. Donโ€™t assume everyone sees and understands things the way you do. Cheers to โ€œnotโ€ creating unnecessary drama ๐Ÿ™‚

Please leave your comments. Really want to hear what you think!

33 thoughts on “Do Not Assume

  1. Avatar
    Alex I'Anson says:

    As we are basically alone on the most fundamental level, the only person we
    can really trust about asking questions, is ourselves. This level of trust
    in our own opinion can cause us to jump to conclusions and not consider
    information that we don’t know, because we don’t know them. We come up with
    stories that we believe is true, because it’s something we created for
    ourselves to believe, we do this automatically without even thinking about
    it.

    I don’t think we can even turn this off… this is something that is, from
    my experience anyway, inherent in most people. The only thing we can
    control, is what we do with these assumptions, or if we even pay any
    attention to them.

    I’m not sure if this helps in your situations… you were quite cryptic
    about it, so i’m guessing that it’s a private matter… well, it’s
    obviously a private matter, it’s your love life ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. Avatar
    Caden Rolland says:

    We put incredible amounts of stories on the one we know the least,
    ourselves. All the reasons you can’t, you’re not enough, or who you
    “really” are, are just stories. When you find it, the truth will set you
    free.

  3. Avatar
    GiGi EatsCelebrities says:

    So much assuming going on in my head right now – but…. what if my
    assumptions are CORRECT ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰ YOUUUUU KNOWWWW!

  4. Avatar
    Fahad Al-Faris says:

    ive always had wild assumptions, but i take few for granted.
    there must have been somethings triggers your assumptions, so it is not
    necessrily end up with disaster,

  5. Avatar
    Orion Xavier says:

    Counterpoint! ๐Ÿ˜› Maybe it’s more important to understand why you want to
    assume something..? Rather than identify a behavior that is wrong, and then
    promise to yourself, “I won’t do that again.”

    Most if not all people, will often see what they want to see in another
    person, rather than see “what is”. (3:15) By living in the “now” you allow
    everything “to be” rather than try to force or overlap your own reality
    unto it. You appreciate something for what it is, for example a smile
    elicits happiness. But this is where the problem begins, when you take that
    reality and exaggerate it through associations and assumptions. That a
    smile “means” something else, and that something else also means another
    thing, and another.. Lol. Pretty soon you’re so far away from reality that
    you’ve created your own version or “story” as you say !

    In regards to relationships, what we’re really discussing is *bias.* Bias
    can be good or bad, it just depends. But bias is part of human nature. For
    example in the fight or flight response, to determine friend from foe, we
    make assumptions based on first impressions. We stereotype, we pigeonhole..
    The only problem with that is when those hopes or fears (biased for or
    against, respectively) affect our decisions. When we consciously decide
    that they are real, when in truth they are imagined.

    Bias is a huge part of what determines whether you get hired for a job or
    not. Hiring managers/HR deal with so many people that they don’t give
    everyone an opportunity. They make a LOT of assumptions. I recall an
    interview with the actor that plays “Ron Swanson” on “Parks and
    Recreation”. Early in his career he was an actor, but he also loved and
    excelled at woodworking, which translated into prop making. When he tried
    to get a job making props for theaters, he would honestly say that he is an
    actor, at which time they always assumed that he was some stereotypical
    actor and couldn’t possibly be seriously good at something like
    woodworking. Like comparing an actor with a car mechanic. Lol.

  6. Avatar
    Orion Xavier says:

    4:31 The Four Agreements:
    Be Impeccable With Your Words
    Don’t Take Anything Personally
    Don’t Make Assumptions
    Always Do Your Best

    I never read the book but I’ve been practicing that already. Lol. I think
    it all comes down to introspection and cultivating your intuition. The
    latter is what I refer to as the sense of what is right and good, without
    requiring explanation; thought. You just know it. You can read a thousand
    books, or you can take the time to (and I hate to beat this to death
    already LOL, but!) “KNOW THYSELF”. YOU have all the answers. You just need
    to learn how to become *aware* of that knowledge, which has nothing to do
    with thought, but of “feeling” the truth.

  7. Avatar
    BALLSupinTHROAT.com says:

    I wish I could marry this girl and get a U.S working visa lol aawww, well,
    that and CHERISH her ;P You are awesome darl ๐Ÿ˜€ Your friend Johnny K haha
    ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t mind my YouTube name, long story sweety ๐Ÿ™ LMAO ! xox

  8. Avatar
    Fahad Al-Faris says:

    BAD ASSUMPTION,
    WHEN U SEE 2 MEN , BOYS, OR GUYS HOLDING HANDS IN THE MIDDLE EAST , DO NOT
    ASSUME THAT THE ARE GAYS.
    HOLDING HANDS IN OUR WORLD IS A SIGN OF GREAT FRIENDSHIP.

  9. Avatar
    Accidental49 says:

    This gals a hidden gem, I would like to have at least a couple of life
    coaches, although I surely can’t afford it. Yes, my life is that shitty. I
    think this guy is a genius though. 10 Things You’ve Been Doing You Shouldn’t

  10. Avatar
    willow king says:

    I have learn thought of my life that assuming is quit bad sometime and get
    people quit PO and other time and be quit helpful so main use what you
    think is the best think to do at the moment in time that felt with you
    and see what happen in the reliant in watch you are in

  11. Avatar
    Johnny Booth says:

    Thanks for inviting me to take a peek at your channel. You’re doing great
    work and are on point with everything in this vid. Especially shifting your
    awareness between the ‘i’ and the ‘self’ is a fantastic tool. One thing i
    would like to add though, is that this is also valid for ‘positive
    assumptions’ such as expectations. Creating any scenario based on
    assumptions, even positive ones is limiting and of course being separated
    from the now moment. When you completely eliminate expectation,
    disappointment also disappears forever ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Avatar
    Tara Wills says:

    Hey there ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for writing at one of my videos leading me to this
    one. What a coincidence, my neighbour has told me about the 4 agreements
    some months ago (now I am looking for the audiobook ’cause I am a low
    vision person). Got a sub here.
    Greetings.

  13. Avatar
    Kevin Dufoort says:

    Now here is my thing.. you assume meditation is a key to something what if
    i told you its a actually imprinted backdoor for beings to enter you if you
    meditate. its a cult practice.

    You live on a planet thats invaded underground aswell as above ground and
    through parralel realities.
    What makes you think there’s actually something good on this planet, its a
    prison planet, its kinda not logical. channeling for example is
    supercomputer download programs these are not real beings speaking through
    people they would not and shall never waste their time in such a way.

    All beings right here got trapped and tricked because the archetype of this
    universe is satan. he traps souls. and getting out is by will power. thats
    why its crucial after this life to not walk into the white tunnel or
    connect to any being just fly away and out of it.

    the most important lesson in life is will power, care not for others but
    only for yourself because in so doing you allow others to see the
    reflection you offer them and that allows them to stand in their own power
    and not rely on other for love, money, joy etc.. once you become depending
    upon something or someone your a slave bound energeticly to that person.

    Celebrate death, Mourn to be alive.

  14. Avatar
    DENNIS HICKS says:

    Hi confusedgirLA; I like your style your upbeat and positive and you like
    smiling and that makes me what to smile to I to love smiling and any reason
    will do of course. Your in the business of preventing pain and suffering;
    with your smile and your willingness to serve others you help bring pain
    and suffering to a stop for a time. We have to figure that if those people
    that are living painful or suffering lives will through our sharing smiles
    and great thoughts they will become as addicted to smiling and being
    happy as we have become. I am assuming that you are as happy as you seem???
    Keep the great thoughts coming, the world needs all the help it can get to
    change things for the better.

  15. Avatar
    DENNIS HICKS says:

    Too some of what might seem like assumptions; might be intuitive thought.
    That’s one of the powers you get when are enlightened. You connect on a
    deeper plane to life and its peoples. You get to know things before others
    know them. You can read people and feel them also; you become an energy
    expert; you can feel bad energy coming way before it arrives. I can’t stay
    in a house where the energy; is bad or very low dry energy that sucks life
    out of me every second I encounter it.

  16. Avatar
    MARCEL LIGHTNING DUBE says:

    Seems with every safe tragedy there’s always a lesson to learn in order to
    grow in this illusion what many believe is reality… … ..It isn’t what
    it seems…is it a emotional dream!? Hmm… It’s stated that empaths can
    sense other’s emotions & then some. Does that mean they can assume!? Hmm…
    .. … It’s strange that some have been conditioned to believe a certain
    way…Yet are not who they think they are and they have to believe that we
    are more than what they believe they are… …. … We are POWERFUL
    CREATIVE BEINGS… but, to become 21 Century Shaman..in meditation while
    grounding, feeling your center corp to reach the Higherself… .. …
    that’s another story!? Hmm…. .. …

  17. Avatar
    youarekitten says:

    Charlie Sheen hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ good stuff! I agree, there are many perspectives to
    look at things. I like the all things are neutral props n we give it
    meanings, so we always assume smth, it might just not be what we prefer n
    then we can adjust our assumptions, 4 agreements, teal, bashar are all good
    sources imo, keep up the good work!

  18. Avatar
    Marlin Tubbs says:

    Well, on the topic of assumption; I am glad I didn’t assume you we’re just
    some moron spamming my YouTube video with some useless crap, or peddling
    some stupid gizmo.
    Thanks for sharing! In a YouTube world brimming with stupidity, it’s good
    to know good folks as yourself can add something constructive and
    beneficial to people’s lives.

    Remember what they say about ‘Assume’; it makes an Ass-out
    of-u-m-e!…..lol

    I shall sub

  19. Avatar
    Lewis Almeida says:

    Hello Confused Girl L.A.
    Iโ€™m responding to your request that I look at your video and give you my
    thoughts. I see that the subject is excellent โ€œDo not Assumeโ€ which is a
    very interesting and provocative subject. You are correct that problems
    occur when we make assumptions and we automatically make the wrong
    assumption as you describe. However, I found from my own work and
    understanding how my nature and human nature works in general is that we
    cannot stop or will ourselves to stop assuming. In truth we function
    automatically from our storehouse memory called the brain. We are
    stimulated by these external impressions and this triggers our memories and
    this is called reactions.
    I think you would make a dynamic life-coach because I see in you a reaching
    for clarity and a desire to help others reach a higher level of being. I
    just know that if you go to my website which is wayofspinoza.com that
    youโ€™ll find a deeper understanding of human nature.

  20. Avatar
    John Dominique says:

    I love your sense of humor. Yes, the part about being present moment
    awareness is very important. Takes lots of practice to notice to know when
    we are NOT in the present. Meditation is cool but I find it too short
    lived. The Four Agreements is a great book too. Good luck with your life
    coaching. I’m sure you will be a popular choice!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join Our Tribe

ย 

Signup For Exclusive Access To New Arrivals, Discounts & Giveaways

You have Successfully Subscribed!