People & Blogs
How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
It can really difficult to not compare ourselves with other people especially when we feel things are not going well in our own lives. Unfortunately, social media does not help with this and we can get caught in a cycle of self destructive behavior. Social media is meant to show the highlights of someone’s life, not what is happening behind the scenes. Everyone walking on this planet will experience the pain and suffering of life. For this reason, we need to stop being competitive and instead, be more compassionate. Be happy for the good in someone else’s life because good is also coming to us.
Another thing to remember, comparing ourselves with others actually makes no sense. We are all so different and each have our own unique journey. It is actually impossible to make a fair comparison. I like to think of it as someone comparing the beauty of the “Grand Canyon” to the “Pacific Ocean”. You can’t compare them. They are both beautiful in their own unique way.
Please leave your comments. Really want to hear what you think!
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Such a great message. I came across your channel awhile ago and was digging
your videos. Then I couldn’t remember your channel name for months! I’m
subbed to so many people I never saw your posts! So happy to have found you
again!
How do I measure myself against other people? By height!
I love your advice & stories because one of my bestfriends is a ‘miss
perfect’ Haha I used to compare myself to her but thankfully now I don’t!
I am seriously so thankful for you.
Because this comparison Facebook BS I quit it over a year ago. That, and
having done a ton of research on Facebook when working on a paper.
Definitely was a lot happier when I left that nonsense behind me.
And it is not even the social comparison reason to limit and/or use your
Facebook differently. If you read the book by Nicholas Carr on What The
Internet Is Doing To Our Brains: The Shallow he explains how we get
dopamine burst from information. Too much bursts, and we lose our ability
to concentrate. Fragmentation of the mind. Ever felt insane or groggy after
spending an entire day behind the computer? Well, this is the exact same
thing. Carr also explains how most of the stuff we watch online we don’t
actually remember for the long-term. All these things help to show that you
shouldn’t spend too much time on Social Media in the first place.
The gratitude exercise is also a good one. One of the best ways for people
to make themselve happy. Where your focus goes is where you go.
Still I compare myself to my twin brother for all the good things we know
we can have based on similar and/or identical ID. 🙂
Good video overall!
Most comparisons are pointless, but we love making them for some reason.
You two should use my Facebook page to promote all your stuff 😀
Helps me and helps you guys 🙂 Who wouldn’t want to check my page
out to watch a couple of adorable blonde bombshells 😛 Your friend
GiGi is so adorable 🙂 naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawsssssssssss ;P x
http://facebook.com/JOHNNYKOFFICIAL
Hun, I want you to be in my podcasts, and, there is an easy way we can
always do it.
Basically I bring up topics on my podcasts, and I spend several minutes
discussing them.
We could do this back and forth through WhatsApp, at our own pace, hassle
free every time.
Then allow me to collect all the voice clips and work my magic 😛 And I’ll
upload the video 🙂
This will be great for me and also really sweet for you too 🙂 What you
reckon sweety? 😛
Story of my life – always a work in progress but finally getting past it later in life – a bit too late but also never too late. Social media really does not help at all. I got so many no’s thru life that it has really kinda screwed with my mind… but such is life… Unfortunately it still is a “looks” world out there as much as we write & talk about it…
It’s never too late! Yes, beauty is always appreciate but it is really someone’s energy that attracts people. Confidence and intelligence will never stop being beautiful!
Comparing yourself to others is part of our primitive nature. To determine
who is the strongest (and thereby the weakest); who are the alphas.
Comparing ourselves to those we consider “alphas”, is how we evolve as a
species.
I think feelings of insecurity or envy arise when we feel we are no longer
the alpha in our social circle. We recognize qualities in them that we wish
we had, qualities that most people appreciate as well.
Along the same lines, this is why when a very attractive person speaks or
expresses something, people devote a lot more attention to them. We provide
them more opportunities to succeed. Etc. Some people mistake this for
simply being sex appeal. But really our desire is to spread their genetic
material to as many others as possible; we want to be like them.
Sure, nobody is *that* perfect, and we don’t usually consider the “behind
the scenes” of someone we consider to be perfect or ideal. But our own
“habit” of exaggerating the truth to see someone as perfect, goes to prove
my point. We elevate them to such high importance because we recognize
qualities in them that are highly valuable to most people.
So when we see someone we envy, it’s really about a desire to be a better
person. Not out of vanity, but to have a greater capacity to share and
express joy/love. (To make people happy, which includes yourself)
I thought she was your twin sister! 🙂
you are very wise , smart and hot in black dress
GG is smat too
actually i was away for a while , so i missed u all……
if not engaged in a relation of any sort , i would be honored to have
dinner withyou in DUBAI,,,,,,,,,,LOL
let us add our confusions together , tie them togethr and through then into
ocean,,,,,,what do you think, btw lol ans , is not allowed
Once you start to find yourself and accept it, then there’s literally no
comparison even if you want to put yourself in a box. Only comparison is if
you are genuine and real or not.
It is not just the comparison, it’s the hidden competition behind it.
We were taught to compare so that we could gauge our selves to others and
then out do others. Your teachers, your schools, your sports coaches, your
monetary systems, and the lame stream media all program you to compare
yourself to others. There is hidden competition behind it. Keep up with
the Jones; don’t get left back a grade; be the head of your class; look at
this person’s beauty vs. you. The reason was to divide and conquer. Once
you feel that you are no longer good enough, then your teachers, your
governments, your ad agencies, and so many others can manipulate you, which
is why they do it. But now it is time for you to manipulate yourself.
Stop disempowering yourself and instead empower yourself, and live the
fulfilling life you were truly meant to live.
Great topic thanks for sharing. I’ve really had to work to stop doing
this!!
Loved it and loved your guest. I really appreciate the positive vibes. The
part about comparing our behind the scenes with other people’s highlight
reels was huge. From my experience, comparison is a form of judgement. I’ve
found the true self does not have the need to judge because it is one with
what IS meaning it is in a state of perfect fulfillment. The part of me
that wants to judge is unconsciously trying to compensate for lack of being
in that state. Keep up the good work baby girl!
This video was ok
This is an awesome message to get across and it is helpful for me because
I’m trying to view the world in a different perspective because I realized
my thoughts create my reality.
great advice. i hope more people who need to hear this, do !
The make-up and hair are just disgousting. Sorry.