How To Heal Family Relationships

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The Holidays are here and families are coming together. It can be incredibly beautiful and/or incredibly painful. Family dynamics can bring out the best and worst in us. No one can push our buttons like the people that know us best…our family.

No matter how wonderful or disastrous our families are, I do believe that at some point in our lives, we have to break away and find out who we are as an individual. We can always better understand what we were in, when we step out of it. We can then look at things objectively.

In this video, I provide some tools to help you understand your family dynamics and heal yourself. Once we take the steps to heal ourselves we are able to attract better people and things into our life.
Please leave your comments! We want to know what you think 🙂

If you are interested in a Life Coaching session, please email me for more information: confusedgirlinthecityla@gmail.com

20 thoughts on “How To Heal Family Relationships

  1. Alex I'Anson says:

    The way I see it, if you’re in a toxic feedback loop, get the hell out.
    There is no way you can properly look at your situation objectively until
    you have a time out… it’s like writing a story, essay or letter. You
    don’t know what went wrong until you go back and reread it later.

    My parents are basically opposites. My father seems to have no real
    emotional spectrum, parenting skills or empathy. Instead, he throws
    whatever money he can at the problem, and uses that as grounds for his
    authority. He attempts to discipline me through fear and intimidation,
    which doesn’t work particularly well, because every time I can feel myself
    caring less about his company and existence. My mother on the other hand,
    is rubbish with discipline… which definitely reflects with our dogs
    (they’re little devils). She makes up for her flaws by being an incredible
    parent, she’s there for you, she supports your decisions, praises your
    accomplishments and plans days out. She will actually talk to you about
    things, lets you confide in her, and she will also confide in you, she
    treats you as an equal, but weirdly and paradoxically, as if you’re wildly
    dependant upon her… which is infuriating or amazing, depending on what
    situation you’re in. So that’s my dysfunctional family.

    (You can tell this is going to be about my dad)

    The more he is angry with me, the more I recoil from him… which means
    it’s more likely he will be angry when I am around him, which means I will
    recoil more, and the cycle continues. Don’t get me wrong, my dad has his
    moments. I hear him laughing with my mum, not chuckling but actual LOL
    laughter. He can also be amazing conversation when he wants to… however,
    when i’m around, these moments are few and far between.

    I’ve made my peace with it, i’ve given up any interest in trying to wrestle
    against it, so i’m just going to avoid him. Soon I will move 200 miles away
    when I go to university, after that I will likely work in that area, and
    settle down soon after. He will likely try to spin my uni degree, my work
    and my family as a success story of his, as my sister hasn’t been the most
    successful. She likely partying, going out and spending money, and he
    rarely has a go at her, regardless of her misconducts. She’s not afraid to
    fight back, and he would never physically overpower her, like he’s done to
    me.

    Well, I guess in some ways I haven’t made my peace with it. Every now and
    then it annoys me, and with this being the topic, it’s hard not to become
    emotionally invested in it. However, after this, I will likely go back to
    normal thoughts within a couple of minutes. I guess what i’ve written makes
    me sound cold and heartless, which I guess has it’s merits, but this is
    something i’ve inherited from him, plus a result of his behaviour. I’m
    content with thinking this way, perhaps consciously changing it when I want
    to, however, I would rather die than find myself behaving this way towards
    my children.

  2. JakesShowcase says:

    While I’ve never heard your name, I have to say you really are quite good.
    Your very cute, you have great things to say, smooth verbal presentation
    and you have great video editing skills. I’m really surprised YouTube as a
    whole hasn’t picked up on you just yet. Your channel should be over a
    million views easily. The family tips here of recognition of your families
    deficiencies and forgiveness for unspoken apologies are bang on. I know I
    have to learn this myself being the oldest in a family of nine. I also
    recognize where I’ve fallen short and need to make my own apologies. Keep
    up your great work I always look forward to your videos. Jake

  3. Regal Ace says:

    I like your energy. very rationale method of handling things as well. I
    also keep hearing the godfather theme music playing on violins too. Good
    stuff

  4. UneekSpeech says:

    Hi, Confused Girl! I Just listen Your Video .Good Job Your On The Rite
    Track.
    I Love The T-Shirt.You Don’t Seem Confused 2 me.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. So Don’t
    Be Confused.

  5. Orion Xavier says:

    2:01 I would have phrased that differently, “What *can* I learn from this
    experience?”

    To use a metaphor: Sometimes you can heal, but there will always be a scar.

    Consider victims of child abuse.. I was one of them. You can forgive, you
    can heal yourself, but only to a point. That kind of torture will break
    anyone, and once you’re broken there’s no putting you back together again.

  6. Fahad Al-Faris says:

    just passing by to say hi
    my comments will be later, cuz im very busy.
    question lil sister , how does confused girl have such smart ideas

  7. kelsie wells says:

    Thanks for leading me here! I think you offer great advice. I too don’t
    understand why you don’t have more views, but that will come. Within the
    last two years I’ve received theta healings from two community healers
    which help with family ” problems” and so much more! Like fixing hidden
    beliefs that no longer serve you. Also if you haven’t heard of Teal Swan I
    highly suggest you check out her videos. She’s pretty popular on youtube
    and is all about raising human consciousness. Love and light to you!

  8. Goddess Within says:

    Great video once again :-). I currently have an issue with my older sister.
    She is unhappy and bullying me on facebook about my decision this Christmas
    to only buy for the children and not the adults which includes her 24 your
    old daughter who is my niece. It was my sister’s suggestion in the first
    place to only buy for the kids. I just agreed with her and included her
    daughter as an ‘adult’. However she still believes her 24 year old daughter
    is a ‘kid’ and my sister gives presents to all of our family on behalf of
    herself, her husband, her 17 year old son (my niece) and her 24 year old
    daughter who has a well paid job, lives on her own, and hardly ever
    acknowledges other family members or wishes them Happy Birthday herself or
    anything. My sister, by doing what she does, kind of absolves my niece of
    doing so and I have brought this up with my sister before and got a very
    cool response. So…if I stick to my guns there will be World War 3 however
    I do not wish to back down just to avoid my sister’s wrath. This is how I
    feel and I am entitled to my view. We all feel and view things differently.
    Oh well…I am currently avoiding answering my sister’s antagonistic
    questioning on facebook. Her last message to me was ‘Awaiting your
    response…’..well… she knows my views. She may be waiting awhile. I’m
    not getting into it with her. It’s not worth it. I will do as I feel right.
    I’m sorry if she disagrees and does not like it. Actually that’s not true.
    I’m not sorry. It just is. Next what will happen is that my Mother will
    get all upset and tell me to just back down to avoid controversy as she
    hates any type of conflict and just wants everybody to get on and be ‘nice’
    to each other. Her tactic is to try and emotionally blackmail me saying
    that it will spoil her Christmas if my sister and I fall out and she would
    do anything to have had a sister as she was an only child etc, and
    rah-de-rah-de-rah. Then it will eventuate that becasue I don’t back down
    ‘I’ am the trouble-maker, the one in the wrong etc. It’s always been this
    way. However, no matter what happens, everyone is welcome to my place this
    Christmas and my son and I are going to have a wonderful day with many
    yummy foodie treats and will go for a walk down the beach in the evening
    after the day is done and I will look forward to seeing whoever turns up
    and welcome them with open arms and an open heart. There is no reason not
    to or to hold any grudges. Iam quite happy to agree to disagree. I will be
    catching up with some friends who live a wee way away a day or two before
    Christmas as they are having a small get-together of good friends, and that
    will be my lot. I’m looking forward to Christmas regardless of any family
    issues or dynamics that come up becasue I will not let it be spoilt by
    others. I wish you all a Merry Christmas also 🙂

  9. Poaquael QnuanXiilzricht says:

    Thanks for the invite. I’m not forgiving anyone until I see the bodies. He,
    he – just kidding. But I think a very important thing to realize it that
    some people have deep wounds when it comes to forgiveness in all forms. I
    always say, forgiveness is a “selfish” act. You’re doing it for yourself
    not for the other person. Depending on the situation, you don’t HAVE to
    become best friends with the one you forgive – in fact I think one can
    still have a healthy dislike towards the person and at the same time
    forgive. I know it probably sounds like an oxymoron, but for people who
    went through real trauma, I think they need to realize that forgiveness
    doesn’t mean for you to betray your own feelings. But this is just for
    extreme cases or extreme people. But I think once people realize, like I
    say, that forgiveness is a selfish act, it will not be so difficult to do
    so anymore. Be well

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